** Before you dive in, please spend 5 minutes here first **
I like to think the best of people and situations – this is my projection that I place on every person I meet and am involved with – in reality this is not necessarily true, but I actively choose to think good thoughts. We all project it is natural but most of us don’t realise we are doing it, or just how revealing we are being when we ‘unknowingly’ do it.
If you have been in a situation where you have been hurt or helped by the behaviour or attitude of someone, have not spoken with anyone yet you think you ‘know’ the reason behind it – you have projected.
Now anyone that says they have not been here is not being honest, it is totally normal that until we understand the true reason for something there is a short period of time where your mind tries to understand it with only our thoughts to help us. [Unless, of course you have mastered thought control, and if you have please share your secrets?] The reality here is it’s human nature or our natural instinct to do this and we will continue to do this. Probably a survival tool we have from back in the day of caves, so we could understand if a moment is one that may kill us and all we had to really figure that out was our thoughts based on experiences etc.
Nothing to beat yourself up about, I certainly don’t because I recognise it for what it is. Plain and simple they are just thoughts, thoughts that our subconscious or conscious mind has brought up based on our own reasons, experiences and behaviours. If we know a person then the experiences we remember will be based more on how this person has behaved in the past, so we may be a bit closer to the truth however, it still does not mean what we THINK is happening actually is. It just means on the balance of probability it is most likely what we are thinking. There is always a little bit of projection to explain the unknown or unexplained by using our self as a guide.
So…………..Why am I bringing this up? seems a bit of a random topic doesn’t it?
Well it isn’t. I bring it up because I want this page to be a pleasant, emotionally mature experience where you will find my take on things. I want you to feel safe enough to comment and interact with me even if you disagree and not feel you will be attacked by me or other followers.
Firstly, most ‘keyboard warriors’ and ‘compulsive offense takers’ are projecting. They are stuck in a ‘Ego Trap’ – a paradox where they simultaneous feel superiority (of opinion – their way is the only right way) and victimization based on their own self-worth which they then see in what seems like every situation. Yes there are legitimate times when people get offended or could justify an attack of an opinion but really, words can only hurt us if we ‘believe’ their context. If a strangers comment or attitude stirs emotion in you, listen closely to your thoughts and emotions, they will tell you what the true problem is for you because if you think about it, it is NOT the opinion of this one insignificant person that has you upset, but something else. Channel that into true advocacy if necessary, or just acknowledge the root of your emotions and value yourself enough by moving past the post [because it’s author won’t]. It is not worth you wasting your precious time on an ‘unknown stranger’ who will not agree with you and will just upset you more.
Body shaming for example – if someone said to me that I am too fat I would laugh at them and tell them they must be confused because they seem to think I need their approval – this does not hurt me because I don’t believe or identify with the message, however if I did, I would take offense wouldn’t I? It is only natural. Seriously though, what emotion this sort of thing brings up for me is that I feel sorry for them, why? Sounds silly right, but it is because someone would only attack my body image, the body image of a stranger, if they felt inferior in their own. Keyboard warriors only attack because they are trying to make themselves feel superior [by tearing their victim down mentally and emotionally] but really as a consequence, with their “keyboard word war” they are publicly admitting a flaw by telling the world exactly what they really think about themselves and why they are so self-conscious about it (the essence of projection). It is really quite revealing. Yes even if it were a skinny person calling me fat – they obviously have serious self image issues that they feel I don’t have and thus are trying to give them to me; or possibly they could be suffering from bulimia or anorexia and truly see themselves as fat when they aren’t and I am just reminding them of their own issues. I really don’t care the bravado or nonsense response of any warrior – of course they will deny this, no one who is trying to appear superior will admit they are anything but [without a fight].
Secondly, thoughts are not truth – just because you think you know someone’s agenda or truth, does not mean you do. If you judge a person on the way they speak – what you are doing is saying to yourself if I spoke like that it would be for this reason and then place that value on the situation, that is true for you only, not them. If you are naturally a positive person you will put a positive spin on even the most cranky person, you may say, they must have had a bad day and then act with compassion. However, if you are naturally a negative person or resentful because this happens a lot to you, then you may think that person is just plain and simply rude, take offense and act with disdain. Whether you are right or not is irrelevant, because your judgement is one of yourself which you have projected onto said person. It reveals more about you, than them.
So if you feel tempted to be a warrior, I thank you not to be. If you get offended by anything you read, I urge you to find the truth behind that offense and overcome it – a life is not lived if you are allowing others to control your self-worth. You can disagree with me, I am open to being wrong however do so in a mature, respectful manner which is uplifting rather than deflating. I would love links to any further information you have sent to me if you do find yourself disagreeing; I am happy to amend or adjust anything.
And Lastly (phew – I need a drink from all this talking), that leads me to the disclaimer: As some of the information that will be discussed in my blogs will be about health and wellness it is important to include that this information does not take the place of medical advice. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it.
We have taken all reasonable care to ensure that the information contained within the blogs is accurate and up to date. However no liability can be accepted for any errors or omissions, or for any loss resulting from the use of any information or service (noted) on this website. We accept no responsibility for the information or software provided by other sites which may be accessed by hyperlink and are not responsible for the maintenance or availability of such pages or the information or software which they contain. We reserve the right to amend, alter, or withdraw any of the information contained in these blogs at any time and without notice. No liability is accepted for such changes or for the pages not being available at all times.
Now with all that etiquette & usage necessity etc. out of the road, enjoy my blogs!!!